My dear friends I would love to be able to write and then upload my diary every day, but let's face it, I am too busy, too lazy and if I did that you probably wouldn't want to buy my Diary, 'Getting Out,' so that would be a bit like shooting myself in the foot, if indeed I had a foot and a gun as well!

So the good news is that you can buy electronic copies of my Diary, 'Getting Out' online and if you join my Escape Committee you will get the electronic book at a marginally discounted price opps! I meant at a significantly discounted price, personally I wanted to charge ten times as much but I was beaten about the head with a bit of reality from my business advisors.

Longer versions of this Diary page will appear in the Escape Committee area, so that the members can read them and all feel special, bless them!

So I suppose I had better start writing a bit of the Diary hadn't I or you will all feel cheated and not just the people who buy rubbish merchandise from other more suspect organisations run buy Mice or Fat Green Men, need I say more!

I am just about to start the research phase of my next book, I will be travelling the world in style, comfort and first class elegance, something that I obviously deserve after the treatment I received at the hands of my human Captors and the dreadful Dog and parsimonious Parrot.

Of course soon you will know all about the human Captors, the parrot and the Dog, once you have read my Diary, you can download it in ebook form now and then later buy a hard copy when it appears in the shops or on Lulu, Lulu being a website and not a woman decorated in copies of my book of course, I promise you that it is such a good read that your eyes will thank you for the experience.