Getting Out Mode
Welcome to The Cat's World!
Fireworks in The Cat's World

If you have come here by accident please don't leave because you are in for a real treat. You have arrived at the home page of my www - wickedly wonderful website.

I am The Cat by the way and if you like to laugh and have fun then this is the place for you!

It gives me great pleasure to say that this www - wickedly wonderful website of mine is really becoming a world that I can properly welcome you to. You may have noticed that my amazingly popular website has grown just a little and that is because now I have added my latest masterpiece of feline literature to it "The Cat's Travelogue."

If you let your mouse hover over the bit of the page above that looks more like a peeling bit of wallpaper and then click you will be whisked to a completely new section of my dual mode website and I know you are going to love it as much as you love the original. P.S. The mouse is the thing in your hand, if you are using a trackpad I admire you!

Here you can read a little from my wonderful book "The Cat's Travelogue," either using a sneak peek of the first 20 or so pages or indeed every day when we show first couple of paragraphs of a different excerpt from what has been described not only by me as 'a work of pure genius.'

Just look at the Reviews page for what people have been kind enough to say, without being forced or paid of course! People can be really nice sometimes or is it just my readers, and I bring out the best in them? Probably!

If you want to sample my wonderful book you can download the first 20 pages here or read on for today's Excerpt of The Day...

Autobahns, Expressways, And Other Methods Of Getting Nowhere Fast!

As you can imagine it took a long, long time for everyone to get back on the coach and then even longer to get them to sit in the seats that they were supposed to sit in. Then another eternity to count everyone to make sure that they weren't about to leave any drunken pensioners behind by accident, a sentiment that after this short time on the coach I confess I tended not to agree with although on the other paw no one, not even the Germans, deserved the trial of having drunken pensioners on the loose.

But after three pensioners decided that they needed another toilet break, and it had to be the toilet in the Bier Keller, we might just have been ready to set off and I would begin my journey home with a coach load of geriatric drunks except that a trickle (if that is the right word in this context) of others decided that they should follow suit, they poured themselves off the coach stumbled and Zimmered towards the Bier Keller.

After a good three quarters of an hour of what can only be sympathetically called 'buggering about' most if not all the straying pensioners were back on board and the bus pulled out into the traffic.

They say that herding Cats is difficult but I think I have found another group who are much worse - pensioners.

As we fearlessly sped through Berlin I closed my eyes in terror and decided to keep them like that for as long as it took to get out of Berlin why? Well that is simple, everyone says that the Italians are the worst drivers in the world and although the Italians do their best to live up to this reputation it was the Berliners in their executive limos who were late for work who taught them all of the tricks of their trade.