Getting Out Mode
Welcome to The Cat's World!
Fireworks in The Cat's World

If you have come here by accident please don't leave because you are in for a real treat. You have arrived at the home page of my www - wickedly wonderful website.

I am The Cat by the way and if you like to laugh and have fun then this is the place for you!

It gives me great pleasure to say that this www - wickedly wonderful website of mine is really becoming a world that I can properly welcome you to. You may have noticed that my amazingly popular website has grown just a little and that is because now I have added my latest masterpiece of feline literature to it "The Cat's Travelogue."

If you let your mouse hover over the bit of the page above that looks more like a peeling bit of wallpaper and then click you will be whisked to a completely new section of my dual mode website and I know you are going to love it as much as you love the original. P.S. The mouse is the thing in your hand, if you are using a trackpad I admire you!

Here you can read a little from my wonderful book "The Cat's Travelogue," either using a sneak peek of the first 20 or so pages or indeed every day when we show first couple of paragraphs of a different excerpt from what has been described not only by me as 'a work of pure genius.'

Just look at the Reviews page for what people have been kind enough to say, without being forced or paid of course! People can be really nice sometimes or is it just my readers, and I bring out the best in them? Probably!

If you want to sample my wonderful book you can download the first 20 pages here or read on for today's Excerpt of The Day...


Bratislava! What a surprise! The first and most interesting thing about Bratislava is that I managed to get here by accident. No one (in their right mind) visits Bratislava for a holiday (not even if it's one of those short weekend breaks that are so popular these days so that people can enjoy food that is some of the best and cheapest in Europe - to say nothing of the beer so I won't). Why I hear you ask! Well that's simple, Bratislava has the smelliest drains in Europe!

I have to say here, even though I might be tempted to say it again or indeed retract what I am saying, Bratislava and indeed the whole of Slovakia has some of the nicest people you will ever meet - probably their niceness has developed as a result of being ruled by authoritarian idiots and Czechs for so long. Or of course it could be because the drains smell so badly and the people have developed a sort of 'spirit of the blitz,' which obviously makes up for everything that has and will happen to them!

No matter where you go in Bratislava I promise that you will be haunted by the most unpleasant aroma, it lurks around every corner and follows you like a legion of rather old, wet and smelly tramps that have the most unimaginable collective incontinence problem!

When I woke up it didn't take me long to realise that I wasn't where I had started. First I noticed that there was daylight streaming through gaps in the sides of the truck, which told me it, was daytime.

Yes I know that sounds as though I had had a bump on the head and become 'special' over night but I was confused and disoriented; and yes I had had a bump on the head, several in fact! But to make matters worse I was sleeping in a pile of, err, a pile of, um, well a pile of you know what! I could smell it - 'it' was everywhere!

The smell was dreadful, I tried breathing through my mouth but that meant that I seemed to be 'tasting' the smell as well as smelling it, ugh!