Hello, come in, look around or sit down in a comfy chair and let me get you something, you look tired! You aren't over doing it are you? You are! Well I know what you need, you need some rest, so put your feet up and relax, read a book maybe? Actually I have the very thing to read too, aren't you lucky? Have you heard of my wonderful book, no? Well apart from firing my advertising department, I have nothing to do now, so let me tell you just a little about it.
You can now get a paperback edition of 'Getting Out' on Amazon.com or right here!
If you want to sample my wonderful book you can download the first 20 pages here.
IT IS WONDERFUL AND UN-PUT-DOWN-ABLE, there that should be enough of a recommendation after all it comes from me and I really have great taste!
'Getting Out' is the daily diary of a Cat who believes he has been imprisoned wrongly and his various explosive and disastrous attempts to escape, which are occasionally based on two classic films he watched when he was a kitten, 'The Great Escape,' (though sadly he couldn't get his paws on a motorbike) and the 'Colditz Story.'
The Cat is very inventive and although he finds it difficult to escape, he does manage to make his life as easy as possible, borrowing someone else's credit card and surfing the internet is one of his favourite past times, another is trying to guess who is going to do his voice over in the blockbuster animated movie that he knows will be made from his diary after publication?
When he does briefly escape, he is mistaken for the 'Beast' a large black Panther that local legend says escaped from a Zoo some decades ago and takes sheep, though where it takes them, no one seems to know, not even the enormous media circus that turns up unannounced.
Hello my unfurry friends, guess what? That idiot of a translator has written his own book, yes and on his own too, without any help from me - if you ever did!
The book is the first in a series of books for children of all ages and it is all about the Trams of Prague (in the Czech Republic for those of you who are geographically challenged). It is actually rather good and if I tell you any more then you won't buy it and that might really not be a good idea, all I will say now is that when my friend Pam read it she couldn't put it down and I am sure that wasn't because she got cramp from holding the book in front of her face for too long.
Astromouse the picture book for younger people. Astromouse is an 'exquisitely' illustrated picture book for young people aged 5 - 9.
It is the wonderful story of Morris the Mouse who leaves his home planet Astro looking for adventure. One day he is speeding passed a small green and blue planet called Earth, or so his computer calls it and he spots an enormous Ice Comet which is on a collision course with Earth.
What Morris does next will decide whether he is a hero and as importantly whether planet earth survives the collision with the Ice Comet!